Marriage - are the church failing us?

[Kalahari]

Today most "christian marriages" will end in divorce and many will remarry. If we look at Scripture and the teachings of Jesus and Paul it seems that marriages were until death do us part and remarriage were by exception allowed.

In most churches today the teaching are very different than that of the Bible and many believers follow the teaching of the churches and not of the Bible.

We know Scripture teaches woe to those that cause someone to stumble and by teaching something contradictory to Scripture are churches not such a stumble block? Are we surprised that churches are in such a terrible state today, because of these teachings?

What are the consequences of these teachings on believers and society?  The break up of families and all that follow this.

We know that all sin can be forgiven and divorce and remarriage are not the unpardonable sin, yet if you are remarried unbiblically, how can you ask for forgiveness but stay married? Luk 16:18

[RabbiKnife]

You can’t correct a previously broken promise by breaking a current promise.

This is where Grace is so important.  When God forgives, He forgives.  He takes us right where we are and expects us to be godly from that point forward.

[Cloudwalker]

The real question for the church is how do we deal with those that have been divorced.  Do we preach at them or do we minister to them.  Remember, going through a divorce is a lot like loosing someone through death.

[Kalahari]

You can’t correct a previously broken promise by breaking a current promise.

This is where Grace is so important.  When God forgives, He forgives.  He takes us right where we are and expects us to be godly from that point forward.

Where does forgiveness and reconciliation to your spouse feature in this? 1 Cor 7:11

[Kalahari]

The real question for the church is how do we deal with those that have been divorced.  Do we preach at them or do we minister to them.  Remember, going through a divorce is a lot like loosing someone through death.

For sure we must minister to them, but according to the guidance of Scripture. Not by what we think man needs or wants. Remember God can do what is impossible for man to do. Who do we trust? God or man?

It looks like the church follow the guidance of man and science.

[RabbiKnife]

You can’t correct a previously broken promise by breaking a current promise.

This is where Grace is so important.  When God forgives, He forgives.  He takes us right where we are and expects us to be godly from that point forward.

Where does forgiveness and reconciliation to your spouse feature in this? 1 Cor 7:11

You can forgive and be forgiven without remarrying

Again if the person has already remarried you can’t teach to divorce a second time to remarry the first

[Cloudwalker]

The real question for the church is how do we deal with those that have been divorced.  Do we preach at them or do we minister to them.  Remember, going through a divorce is a lot like loosing someone through death.

For sure we must minister to them, but according to the guidance of Scripture. Not by what we think man needs or wants. Remember God can do what is impossible for man to do. Who do we trust? God or man?

It looks like the church follow the guidance of man and science.

The real question is HOW do you minister to them?  Do you minister in LOVE, or do you look down your nose at them, and condemn them because they have been divorced?  Too many in the church do the latter, rather than the former.  And, as a result, they are chased away from the church and are lost to Christ.

[Kalahari]

You can’t correct a previously broken promise by breaking a current promise.

This is where Grace is so important.  When God forgives, He forgives.  He takes us right where we are and expects us to be godly from that point forward.

Where does forgiveness and reconciliation to your spouse feature in this? 1 Cor 7:11

You can forgive and be forgiven without remarrying

Again if the person has already remarried you can’t teach to divorce a second time to remarry the first

I know this is difficult and we cannot give blanket statements, but I knew of persons who have did it and are now reconciled and happy in their first marriage.

To me the important part is to reconcile our actions to the commands of Jesus. I really have some difficulties reconciling the actions "approved" by the church speaking the blessing of God on marriages, while Jesus said such are adulterers. I do not see the justification of such actions.

Just for the record I see a difference between divorce and remarriage. Sometimes divorce could be necessary, but the command of being single or be reconciled stays put imo.

[Kalahari]

The real question for the church is how do we deal with those that have been divorced.  Do we preach at them or do we minister to them.  Remember, going through a divorce is a lot like loosing someone through death.

For sure we must minister to them, but according to the guidance of Scripture. Not by what we think man needs or wants. Remember God can do what is impossible for man to do. Who do we trust? God or man?

It looks like the church follow the guidance of man and science.

The real question is HOW do you minister to them?  Do you minister in LOVE, or do you look down your nose at them, and condemn them because they have been divorced?  To many in the church do the latter, rather than the former.  And, as a result, they are chased away from the church and are lost to Christ.

Divorcees needs love not condemnation. They are people hurt in our broken world.  Yet the solution is not to remarry, but to remain single or to reconcile according to Scripture.

[Fenris]

We know that all sin can be forgiven and divorce and remarriage are not the unpardonable sin

This is so interesting to me. "Legalistic" Judaism does not consider divorce to be a sin, because the bible never puts divorce in that context. But Christianity, the religion of "grace", adds a sin to the bible that wasn't in the Tanach.

Just one of those things.

[Athanasius]

Just for the record I see a difference between divorce and remarriage. Sometimes divorce could be necessary, but the command of being single or be reconciled stays put imo.

"Hey Brenda, sorry your husband sexually abused your children, and it's fine if you divorce him, but please don't get re-married unless it's to the child molester I allowed you to divorce."

Said Jesus, never.

[tango]

Just for the record I see a difference between divorce and remarriage. Sometimes divorce could be necessary, but the command of being single or be reconciled stays put imo.

"Hey Brenda, sorry your husband sexually abused your children, and it's fine if you divorce him, but please don't get re-married unless it's to the child molester I allowed you to divorce."

Said Jesus, never.

Situations like this certainly muddy the water but did Jesus provide exceptions? He might not have literally phrased it the way you did but if he said remarriage is adultery without offering exceptions then remarriage is adultery.

It's one thing to make a case that something doesn't apply today because it was a cultural call rather than an eternal call but if we start to throw stuff away because it's inconvenient there are all sorts of other things that are more inconvenient to more people.

We shouldn't necessarily get caught up creating all sorts of requirements that don't exist but we should be equally careful not to expect to walk a path that doesn't become inconvenient at times.

[Athanasius]

Just for the record I see a difference between divorce and remarriage. Sometimes divorce could be necessary, but the command of being single or be reconciled stays put imo.

"Hey Brenda, sorry your husband sexually abused your children, and it's fine if you divorce him, but please don't get re-married unless it's to the child molester I allowed you to divorce."

Said Jesus, never.

Situations like this certainly muddy the water but did Jesus provide exceptions? He might not have literally phrased it the way you did but if he said remarriage is adultery without offering exceptions then remarriage is adultery.

It's one thing to make a case that something doesn't apply today because it was a cultural call rather than an eternal call but if we start to throw stuff away because it's inconvenient there are all sorts of other things that are more inconvenient to more people.

We shouldn't necessarily get caught up creating all sorts of requirements that don't exist but we should be equally careful not to expect to walk a path that doesn't become inconvenient at times.

The extreme example is specifically to highlight the difficulties of holding to positions that seem "easy" when all is well. We would be wrong to use such an instance to justify divorce and remarriage in every other circumstance, but I think it would also be wrong for us to do the reverse.

[tango]

Just for the record I see a difference between divorce and remarriage. Sometimes divorce could be necessary, but the command of being single or be reconciled stays put imo.

"Hey Brenda, sorry your husband sexually abused your children, and it's fine if you divorce him, but please don't get re-married unless it's to the child molester I allowed you to divorce."

Said Jesus, never.

Situations like this certainly muddy the water but did Jesus provide exceptions? He might not have literally phrased it the way you did but if he said remarriage is adultery without offering exceptions then remarriage is adultery.

It's one thing to make a case that something doesn't apply today because it was a cultural call rather than an eternal call but if we start to throw stuff away because it's inconvenient there are all sorts of other things that are more inconvenient to more people.

We shouldn't necessarily get caught up creating all sorts of requirements that don't exist but we should be equally careful not to expect to walk a path that doesn't become inconvenient at times.

The extreme example is specifically to highlight the difficulties of holding to positions that seem "easy" when all is well. We would be wrong to use such an instance to justify divorce and remarriage in every other circumstance, but I think it would also be wrong for us to do the reverse.

We certainly need to be careful. It's easy to say what someone else should do when you're not the one having to do it (much the same applies to Paul's call to stay with a spouse, with no provision made there for abusive spouses), but at the same time we need to be careful not to simply disregard things that are very clear because they are inconvenient to us.

If we pick and choose which bits to follow based on what we want to do we might as well just throw the Bible in the trash and accept we're going our own way. The idea isn't to have some tool to beat other people over the head - "Bad Brenda. Naughty Brenda. Go back to your abusive husband right now or you get no support from us, and we don't care if he is going to beat you literally to within an inch of your life, the Bible is clear what you have to do. Don't forget to take your kids with you, and teach them to forgive him." - but I don't see how we can avoid things ultimately boiling down to the simple duality that either we follow what Jesus said or we don't.

[RabbiKnife]

Jesus didn't say everything we need to know, and Paul didn't write everything we need to know.

That's why Jesus said that when he ascended, He would send the Holy Spirit, who would teach all things.

Yes, scripture is of paramount importance, but wisdom cries in the streets while we worship a book instead of the Author is we are not careful.  Applying truth requires a relationship with the Truth that transcends the ink on the page.