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ProDeo

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Marriage
« on: November 01, 2023, 04:22:57 AM »
Mark 10:6 - But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,  and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

And the question is, when are a man and a woman married in the eyes of God?

My view and I am not certain -

I haven't found any word from God in Scripture it requires a ceremony as obligation. Needless to say it's wise and good to have one, ask God in the presence of people for a blessing of your marriage and have a party thereafter.

And so I think -

1. When a couple decides to go through life together and the love is sealed with sexual intercourse.

2. There are a couple of OT texts that even indicate situations of sexual intercourse is enough for God.

On [2] -

Deut 22:28-29 - If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days

Exodus 22:16 - If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife.

It seems to me the act of sexual intercourse is seen by God as a fuse between 2 souls that can't be broken, like being born again is a fuse between God and one of His creatures that can't be broken. As such it is meant.

Marriage is an ever returning topic and if I am asked for my opinion I like to give a correct answer.


Athanasius

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2023, 06:14:49 AM »
If intercourse were enough in God's view, a whole lot of people would be married "in the eyes of God" to a whole lot of other people (and not always by consent). My understanding is that this is an act intended for marriage, but it isn't itself marriage-forming.

What if that "when" is multifaceted? You're married when something like:

- You leave your father and mother for your (to be) husband or wife
- You vow to be together in a relationship only God has the authority to end (because you've both uttered vows before each other and (to) God)
- You engage in those acts that are for a husband and wife, like intercourse
- In acting, you've done so in accordance with God's design for human relationships, marriages, and sexuality

When does God consider the last man and woman alive on earth to be married?
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

Kingfisher

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2023, 08:21:25 AM »
Mark 10:6 - But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,  and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

And the question is, when are a man and a woman married in the eyes of God?

My view and I am not certain -

I haven't found any word from God in Scripture it requires a ceremony as obligation. Needless to say it's wise and good to have one, ask God in the presence of people for a blessing of your marriage and have a party thereafter.

And so I think -

1. When a couple decides to go through life together and the love is sealed with sexual intercourse.

2. There are a couple of OT texts that even indicate situations of sexual intercourse is enough for God.

On [2] -

Deut 22:28-29 - If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days

Exodus 22:16 - If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife.

It seems to me the act of sexual intercourse is seen by God as a fuse between 2 souls that can't be broken, like being born again is a fuse between God and one of His creatures that can't be broken. As such it is meant.

Marriage is an ever returning topic and if I am asked for my opinion I like to give a correct answer.
I don't have a rock solid answer but in John 4:16-18 Jesus stated to the woman at the well that she was living (From the context it can be assumed sex was involved) with a man who was not her husband.

Got Questions does a good job looking at the scripture involved...
https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-constitutes.html
Go Fish

Fenris

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2023, 11:33:45 AM »
And the question is, when are a man and a woman married in the eyes of God?


In Judaism, according to the Oral Law (a seperate body of knowledge outside of the Written Law of the bible itself) there are three ways to consummate a marriage.

1) By Contract:

At a Jewish wedding, a contract is signed.

2) By gift:

The bride accepts a gift from the groom for the purpose of being married. This is the wedding ring.

3) By having physical relations:

The act of sexual intercourse itself consummates the marriage.

On paper, any one of the three will suffice. In practice, all are done. (The bride and groom don't have intercourse at the wedding, of course. They enter a secluded are and close the door, and their being alone together for a predetermined amount of time suffices.)

Under Jewish law, non Jews are not obligated to follow these rules. Simply living together in an agreed relationship is sufficient.

ProDeo

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2023, 05:45:08 AM »
What if that "when" is multifaceted? You're married when something like:

- You leave your father and mother for your (to be) husband or wife
- You vow to be together in a relationship only God has the authority to end (because you've both uttered vows before each other and (to) God)
- You engage in those acts that are for a husband and wife, like intercourse
- In acting, you've done so in accordance with God's design for human relationships, marriages, and sexuality

As such I also understand Jesus words.

From Church I know a unmarried Christian man who lives together with a unmarried woman and they live as a married couple totally in love with each other, meant for each other they say. Then the pastor recently said, You can't sleep together, you are not married.

The man went home, told his wife / girlfriend what the pastor said and decided that he for the time being is sleeping on the couch. The woman panicked, feared this as the beginning of the end of the relationship. It took the man all his strength to convince and reassure her of his love for her. Out of this drama may come something good after all since the woman is now seeking Christ.

Bottom line, if 2 people fall in love, decide to live as man and wife together for the rest of their  lives they are following Jesus words -

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’  ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.

And a ceremony as obligation is not needed, apparently nowhere in Scripture, this with respect to what I also said in the OP about marriages ceremonies. It's good, better actually, but man made after all.

The case reminds me how we educated our two daughters on this issue, at the time my wife told them a simple rule, if you fall in love and start sleeping with each other God will see this as a marriage and divorce is a sin following Jesus above words. So be careful.

EmethAlethia

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2024, 08:47:46 AM »
When the 2 become one flesh they are considered joined in the eyes of God. Doing so prior to marriage is still a sin. "Fornication". That said, according to the bible, Joseph was betrothed to Mary and sought to divorce her quietly and not make a public example of her, i.e. stoning for adultery. But ... the marriage is not finished till it's consummated. Like puzzles? David married 7 women and consummated his relationship with them. Wife 8, Bathsheba, he committed adultery with. Then David took another 10-20 wives. (Depending on which Jewish scholar you trust.) God says Davids' only sins were regarding Uriah the Hittite. i.e. he slept with his wife and got him killed. (Note: Even though David felt bad about numbering the people, there was no "sin" it what he did or how he did it. God actually influenced him to do it.) The question is, according to scripture, how many times did David commit adultery? Solomon not only looked at 1000 women naked, he became one flesh with all of them.  According to scripture, how many times did he commit adultery. Now, if we take more than one wife, have we committed adultery against the first wife, according to God's definition of the word?
   

RabbiKnife

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2024, 09:00:58 AM »
I'll answer your questions with some of my own.

Is there any sin that Jesus cannot forgive?
When God forgives a sin, does He ever hold it against us again?
Is adultery any different than any other sin of omission or commission?

Why the fascination with sin, and in particular, with adultery, instead of a fascination with the righteousness of Christ?

Danger, Will Robinson.  You will be assimilated, confiscated, folded, mutilated, and spindled. Do not pass go.  Turn right on red. Third star to the right and full speed 'til morning.

tango

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2024, 10:36:29 AM »
And the question is, when are a man and a woman married in the eyes of God?


In Judaism, according to the Oral Law (a seperate body of knowledge outside of the Written Law of the bible itself) there are three ways to consummate a marriage.

1) By Contract:

At a Jewish wedding, a contract is signed.

2) By gift:

The bride accepts a gift from the groom for the purpose of being married. This is the wedding ring.

3) By having physical relations:

The act of sexual intercourse itself consummates the marriage.

On paper, any one of the three will suffice. In practice, all are done. (The bride and groom don't have intercourse at the wedding, of course. They enter a secluded are and close the door, and their being alone together for a predetermined amount of time suffices.)

Under Jewish law, non Jews are not obligated to follow these rules. Simply living together in an agreed relationship is sufficient.

This is potentially a bit of a rabbit trail but I'm curious about this "secluded area" thing. Presumably the point is that it's not the sort of thing you want to do in front of witnesses but theoretically speaking if the happy couple were to duck out to a back room, close the door, and simply wait in the room for a predetermined amount of time before emerging, is that considered consummation?  Or is the point of the process to give them that secluded time with the assumption that even if the marriage isn't consummated right there and then it will be at some later time of the couple's choosing?

RabbiKnife

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2024, 04:13:25 PM »
For Christian’s the Jewish law is not applicable
Danger, Will Robinson.  You will be assimilated, confiscated, folded, mutilated, and spindled. Do not pass go.  Turn right on red. Third star to the right and full speed 'til morning.

Rebecca

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2024, 04:38:37 PM »
In the USA marriage has become a joke  a sick joke.  Seems from Sunday School memories there was some form of ceremony. Eve was a gift to Adam.  Daughters paid for  some ceremony of some sort.  Times past in the USA marriage mattered the church was held in higher esteem and the state was not involved. 

Athanasius

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2024, 10:55:04 AM »
What's the theology behind the idea Eve was a gift?
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

Rebecca

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2024, 12:04:29 PM »
What's the theology behind the idea Eve was a gift?
Theology? Was not thinking in lines of theology... my mind went to the Christmas gifts that are returned. 

Rebecca

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2024, 12:37:03 PM »
What's the theology behind the idea Eve was a gift?
Theology? Was not thinking in lines of theology... my mind went to the Christmas gifts that are returned.
   Thinking on this.... We really loose a lot  when we are not good colorful writers... The look on my face the raised eyebrows, smirky grin and one woudl have understood my words.   Sometimes this does not matter , like this time, how often do we misunderstand each other ?   

RabbiKnife

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2024, 01:16:15 PM »
I thought Eve was a gift because she was the whole package, but no mother in law…

😳

(Says the man who loves his mother in law to a greater degree than he ever loved his own mother…!)
« Last Edit: January 11, 2024, 02:00:47 PM by RabbiKnife »
Danger, Will Robinson.  You will be assimilated, confiscated, folded, mutilated, and spindled. Do not pass go.  Turn right on red. Third star to the right and full speed 'til morning.

Athanasius

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Re: Marriage
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2024, 07:14:50 PM »
What's the theology behind the idea Eve was a gift?
Theology? Was not thinking in lines of theology... my mind went to the Christmas gifts that are returned.
   Thinking on this.... We really loose a lot  when we are not good colorful writers... The look on my face the raised eyebrows, smirky grin and one woudl have understood my words.   Sometimes this does not matter , like this time, how often do we misunderstand each other ?

Ohhhh, I asked because there are quite a few people who refer to Eve as a gift from God to Adam, and I thought you were referencing that line of thought.

So, misunderstanding happens allll the time.
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

 

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