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A game warden approached two men fishing on the banks of a lake, and asked to see their fishing licenses. One of the men bolted and the game warden gave chase. Catching up to the fleeing man, the warden seized him and said, "Okay, buddy, you're gonna have to pay a fine for fishing without a license."

"Whattaya mean," replied the man, pulling out his wallet and showing his license. "Here's my license."

Well if you had a license, why did you run?" the baffled warden asked.

"Because my buddy didn't have one" replied the man. 

We all get a chuckle from nefarious miscreants whose criminal antics end in buffoonery. So enjoy the following examples of crime converging with stupidity.

A would-be thief had obviously watched too much TV. While trying to break into his neighbor’s house using a bank card, he woke up the owner. In the thief’s haste to get away, the card snapped in half, leaving behind his name and account details. “The victim called up and read us the details off the card,” police said. “When we got to the burglar’s house, the other half of his bank card was on his kitchen table.”

A 40-year-old man walked into a bank, handed the cashier a threatening note that read: “Be Quick Be Quit [quiet]. Give your cash or I’ll shoot.” The bank teller obliged and handed him $400, and he made good his escape. The problem is the stick-up note he left behind had been scribbled on a piece of his pay slip. Detectives found the other half of the pay slip outside the bank – complete with the bank robber’s name and home address.

Dennis Hawkins, a 48-year-old man who tried to rob a bank in Pittsburgh, clearly didn’t get the memo about needing a disguise that allowed blending into the crowd following the crime. He chose a woman’s blonde wig, fake breasts and bright clown pants. He also neglected to shave his facial hair. If he wasn’t conspicuous enough, he drew even more attention to himself trying to steal a car from a nearby gas station, prompting the attendant to call the police, who apprehended Hawkins soon after.

In 2010, Albert Bailey and an unnamed juvenile accomplice decided to rob a bank in Fairfield, Ct. In an attempt to speed up the process of the crime, Bailey called the bank in advance to let them know that they were coming to rob it. His obvious intent was to give the bank plenty of time to get the money ready so he could just grab it and leave quickly. Well, as luck would have it, the bank decided to call the authorities and notified them of the robbers’ plan. The two men were arrested by police without incident.

In 2008, an 18-year-old man named Ruben Zarate attempted to rob a muffler shop in Chicago. After demanding money, he was told that most of the cash was stored in a safe that could only be opened by the manager, who wasn’t scheduled to come in until a few hours later. To save himself some trouble, Zarate left his cell phone number for the store to call him back once the manager arrived. Of course, the store first called the police and then called Zarate back. When he came back and noticed the police were waiting for him, he engaged in a brief shootout with the cops before eventually being arrested.

When you're planning a burglary, picking the right target is critical, preferably one devoid of occupants. The worst possible target would be a house full of police officers. Well, that's precisely the one Darren Kimpton inadvertently chose. Seems that house had been burglarized earlier in the evening, and police officers were still inside when Kimpton tried to break in. If that wasn't bad enough, he had previously tried to rob a separate house earlier, but cut himself badly and fled. The trail of blood he left between the two houses got him collared for both attempted robberies.

Heard about this yet? It's a California-based for-profit school program that presents itself as a resource for educating under-performing school children, But it does little more than facilitate woke indoctrination. One teacher was recently put on indefinite leave for publicly criticizing it. 

Glassbrook Elementary officials spent $250,000 in federal funds provided by a program meant to help boost test scores for some of the country’s lowest-performing schools, but after two years under the Woke Kindergarten program, students’ scores are even worse.

Some teachers have defended the program, arguing that a new approach is needed since a strict focus on academics has not improved learning. "We need to try something else," kindergarten teacher Christina Aguilera told the Chronicle. "If we just focus on academics, it’s not working. There is no one magic pill that will raise test scores." (Not sure how woke indoctrination is supposed to help).

Woke Kindergarten describes itself on its website as "supporting children, families, educators and organizations in their commitment to abolitionist early education and pro-black and queer and trans liberation." Ideas supported in its agenda include challenging the legitimacy of the Supreme Court and abolishing the police and military.

https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/california-teacher-criticized-woke-kindergarten-program-leave

I thought I'd create a thread devoted to posting fun and interesting (if useless) facts. Feel free to contribute.


John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died July 4, 1826, just hours apart.

The oldest person ever to have lived (whose age could be authenticated), was a French woman named Jeanne Louise Calment, who was 122 years old when she died in 1997.

The oldest-known living land animal is a tortoise named Jonathan, who turned 191 or 192 in 2024.  He was hatched in 1832 and has lived on the island of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean since 1882. His many visitors include several members of the UK's royal family.

The original name for the search engine Google was Backrub. It was renamed Google after the googol, which is the number one followed by 100 zeros.

The sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich, John Montagu, who lived in the 1700s. In order to avoid leaving his extended poker games, he had meat place between slices of bread brought to him.

The first college football game was played on November 6, 1869, between Rutgers and Princeton (then known as the College of New Jersey) in New Brunswick, New Jersey. Rutgers won.

The Four Corners is the only spot in the US where you can stand in four states at once: Utah, Colorado, Arizona and New Mexico.

Driving from Detroit, Michigan into Canada, you actually travel south.

Wombats are the only animal whose poop is cube-shaped. This is due to how its intestines form the feces. The animals then stack the cubes to mark their territory.

The adult Blue Whale, which weighs up to 200 tons, has a tongue as big as an elephant and blood vessels large enough for a person to swim through.

The platypus doesn't have a stomach at all. Their esophagus goes straight to their intestines.

Polar bears have black skin. Their fur hairs are transparent, only appearing white as they reflect light.

A tiger's skin is actually striped, just like their fur. And like fingerprints, no two patterns are identical.

  Among my humor archives, I found a collection of funny court transcripts from actual court proceedings. Here are some of the best ones.

  Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
  A: No.
  Q: Did you check for breathing?
  A: No.
  Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
  A: No.
  Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
  A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
  Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
  A. Well, I suppose it's possible that he could be practicing law somewhere.

  Q. Do you regret having shot a man?
  A. It used to bother me. But the more I don't think about, the more it don't bother me.

  Q. Tell me doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
  A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

  Q. Were you alone at that time, or by yourself?

  Q. Do you drink when you're on duty?
  A. I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

  Q. ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder         trial?
  A. The victim lived.

  Q  Now doctor, can you take a look at these xrays and tell us something about the injury?
  A. Let's see...which side am I testifying for again?

  Q. Was the defendant awake or asleep when you saw him?
  A. He was pretending to be awake, but he was really asleep.

  Q. So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
  A. I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
  Q. It was covered?
  A. Yes, bandaged.
  Q. Then, later on.. what did you see?
  A. I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

  Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
  A. By death.
  Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

 Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
 A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

 Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?
 A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.

  Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?
  A. I will be three months November 8th.
  Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?
  A. Yes.
  Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

  Q. You know, I don't know, but I mean, you know--you don't know, but you know.
  Do you know what I mean?
  A. Do I? No. Do I know? No.

  Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
  A. I should be.
  Q. How many times have you committed suicide?
  A. Four times.

  Q. Were you aquainted with the deceased?
  A. Yes, sir.
  Q. Before or after he died?

  Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
  A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

  Q. What happened then?
  A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
  Q. Did he kill you?
  A. No.

  Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your                   attorney?
  A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

  Q: Doctor, as a result of your examination of the plaintiff, is the young lady pregnant?
  A: The young lady is pregnant, but not as a result of my examination.

  Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for he time being excluding all       the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to       the station?
  MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

  Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
  A. Oral.
  Q. How old are you?
  A. Oral.

  Q. Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

  Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
  A. I could see his head.
  Q. And where was his head?
  A. Just above his shoulders.

  Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot             in the fracas?
  A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

  Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
  A: Not yet.

  The court: You've been charged with armed robbery. Do you want the court to appoint a lawyer to represent you?
  A: You don't have to appoint a very good lawyer, I'm gonna plead guilty anyway.

  Q. (Showing man picture.) That's you?
  A. Yes, sir.
  Q. And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

Despite a rapidly increasing deficit, California Governor Newsome is adding even more red ink by providing non-citizens with sex change surgeries at taxpayer expense. Newsome continues his reckless spending even as record numbers of taxpayers are fleeing the state. Cali deserves him after nearly 70 percent of voters chose to retain him in the recall a few years ago.

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/california-state-health-insurance-cover-sex-changes-illegal-immigrants

In 2015, Paul Wolscht was ahead of his time, and continues to be a trail-blazer in the realm of gender identity. The 6'2 father of 7 garnered attention in 2015 when he left his family and identified as a little girl. Today, he lives happily as 6 year-old "Stefonknee" with his adoptive "mummy and daddy", along with their grandchildren. Hard to believe this isn't satire concocted by the Onion or Babylon Bee, but it's an inconceivable reality.

https://streetmedia.tv/stefonknee-wolscht-transgender-dad-who-left-his-family-to-live-as-a-six-year-old-girl/